lest jealous heaven stole our hearts

lest jealous heaven stole our hearts

lit_carnal_grin

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(no subject)	[Jan. 23rd, 2005\|08:15 pm]
woman and child like a feather falls from the sky so dark, so dark in the moonlight naked we worship the night sky no man can hold what the darkness can sow gonna leave an ugly skull when ya go tongues like horns violently born a new soul the soft dead awake alive in love hard for the hangmans daughter naked we worship the night sky no man can hold what the darkness can sow gonna leave an ugly skull when ya go
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(no subject)	[Jan. 10th, 2005\|04:13 pm]
After mechanics I went and curled up on a window sil to wait for the bus... and then 'he' walked by... 'He' stood outside of the window with his 2 little whores, with his friends.. 'he' didn't dare look at me. 'He' knew I was there, 'he' fucking knew. 'He' laughed and smiled with his perfect friends about his perfect life. I wish I could smile like that. I never smile. 'He' stole my smile... All I could do was watch him, I couldn't even take my eyes off of him. My heart skipped beats and my stomach made me want to vomit. I imagined myself walking out the door and getting him on the ground and hittihng him until his face was under my fingernails, and his blood dripping from my hands. I almost did it. I almost stood up and hit him... But I couldn't move. I decided to sit there and stew with hatred. And then I looked at these girls next to him.. these... GIRLS... they were like 20 pounds... wore bright clothes... blue eyes.... blonde hair.. long blonde hair.. California plastic girls. I wasn't that. I couldn't be that. So he had to fucking cut me up and down until I was what he wanted, he had to twist me until I was the perfect little pet he desired at the end of his leash. I couldn't stop looking at him, the girls, him, the girls, and I began to cry. I havn't cried in a long time. I hate feeling like he has that control over me, he has that manipulative fucking control over my tears. I put my hood over my face and let my hair fall into my eyes. I continued to watch him, through little threads of purple hair I watched that bastard. Through hot tears pouring down my face, giving my lips the tase of salt I continued to watch that fucking monster. And then he left. Finally he walked away... I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore. The smaller and smaller he got in my view, the less frequent the tears came. ... I want him dead.
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(no subject)	[Jan. 8th, 2005\|10:09 pm]
I'm sittin here...And all of a sudden... I got ITCHY.... my leg is starting to have SKIN PEEL OFF!!! I'M SHREDDING!!!!!
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(no subject)	[Jan. 3rd, 2005\|03:45 am]
i went with emo. suck me. alright its on my nerves already. changing for 8.
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(no subject)	[Jan. 3rd, 2005\|03:28 am]
I need help deciding for a new icon.... Mm. Eh, this one is alright I suppose. I like this one From The Cradle To Enslave It's a little... emo I love this one 6 7 8 J.O.J Maybe a bit too feminine for my liking Similar to my one standing can't go wrong with vintage
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(no subject)	[Jan. 2nd, 2005\|09:54 pm]
"The Spirits have all but fled judgement I rot, alone, insane, Where the forest whispers puce laments for me From amidst the pine and wreathed wolfsbane Beyond these walls, wherein condemned To the gloom of an austere tomb I pace with feral madness sent Through the pale beams of a guiltless moon Who, bereft of necrologies, thus Commands creation over the earth Whilst I resign my lips to death A slow cold kiss that chides rebirth Though one last wish is bequathed by fate My beauty shalt wilt, unseen Save for twin black eyes that shalt come to take My soul to peace or Hell for company" My soul to Hell for company
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Coffee.

[Dec. 16th, 2004|04:54 pm]

[	mood	\|	Hilarity insues	]
[	music	\|	Denis Leary - Coffee	]

is it just me, or is there no such thing as a coffee flavored coffe anymore? did i miss the fucking meeting here? they've got frappachino mochachino cuppochino al pacino WHAT THE FUCK?
www. WHAT THE FUCK. COM
i walked into a starbucks about a year ago and there's this kid behind the counter
and i go "yeah gimmie a regular" and he goes "a regular what?"
"coffee" he says "what flavor" "coffee flavor!" i'll stick that menue right up your ass kid!
menu, coffee doesnt need a menue IT NEEDS A CUP THAT'S ALL IT NEEDS! maybe a coaster underneath the cup, THAT'S IT!
been in dunkin donuts lately? the last bastard of cofefe flavored cofee.
ITS GONE. forget about it. you walk in there now there's people wearing berrets, they're writing poetry on computers, theres a kid behind the counter "hi would you like a coffee coolata>" FUCK NO.
www. BLOW ME . COM

coffee coolata. what the hell's that about?
man when i was a kid dunkin donuts had 2 things, coffee and donuts AND THAT WAS IT!
you took the donut and you dunked it in the coffee. THAT'S THE FUCKIN TITLE OF THE PLACE!
you're dunkin donuts! that's all they had, donuts and coffee, nothing else, they had no sugar packets no soda no salt no pepper no posse no quamtang!
walk in there now and there's tubes flying around, people are eating finger sandwiches, they got the donuts on display in a case
like relics from a former era you know? "here's what we used to serve, we used to fry em up and sell em by the dozen, back in the 70's" god almighty.
and you cant smoke in any of these coffee places! cant fucking smoke in starbucks, cant fuckin smoke in joe bcaks cant smoke at whuaalala!
i'm pretty sure coffee was invented by guys sitting around smoking anyways!
right? they just wanted to drink something that would let them stay up late and SMOKE SOME FUCKIN MORE.
that's my theory. just ask me or coloumbo, he'll back me up on this one.
peter faulkin and denis leary today walked intoa sarbucks today and shot 27 people.
without any announcement whatsoever. i actually gave the coffee up for awhilw
it reached that point with me. i said you know what i'm not gonna have a heart attack in front of some 18 year old hiaku writin mother fucker.
in a starbucks. ok? it's jsut not gonna happen.
it'll be just my luck i'll be drinkin coffee ahhh! boom! "he just came in here and he was yelling at me, about coffee flavoured coffee, whatever the hell that is! and then he called me a haiku writin mother fucker. i'm glad he's dead i really am"
so i gave it up! i woke up in the morning i sucked down too jolks jus to get that caffine back. about two years ago i was working in long island makin movies drivin around in my truck and i see a 711 and a cooler at a 711! i can get a cup of coffee flavored coffee at 711!
what coul;d be more basic then tbhe 7 goddamn 11?!
i walk in there sure enough two big aluminum metal containers like the old days right, one's labled decaf, the other one has no lable what would you think?
i think you would think coffee flavored coffee! so i pour myself a cup of coffee, take it up to the counter stand there to pay for it, behing the counter... another 18 year old kid., ok? head shaved, alright. both ears - pierced. ok? both nostrils - pierced. BOTH EYEBROWS - FUCKIN PIERCED. tattoos comin out of his sleeves on both arms
he's got baggy pants on ok, they start at his knees and there's all underwear right here ok?
here's the pants and here's the underwear, it's 27 inches of underwear what the fuck is that about ok? explain it to me.
thats one of the most basic rules that we all know about, THE UNDERWEAR GOES INSINDE THE PANTS. not here, not here not here, WHY DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS?
that's why it's called under-fucking-wear.
whew by. I'm standing there lookin at him now he starts to tlak to me, this is how he talks "yo man WASSUP? WUSSUP MAN?"
and he's white! he's waving gang signs at me "Wassup man!" and he;s fuckin white! he's talking to me like he;s a card carrying member of the wu tang clan!
you know what you're not in the wu tang clan, ok?
you're not even in a cold crust crack of an asshole cult!
you're in a 7 11 you're 18 years old you dont know shit about shit AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS.
and uh, his tounge's hanging out. you know why hsi tounge is hanging out? because there's a 5 POUND STUD INBEDDED IN THE MIDDLE OF IT! THAT'S WHY!
what the fuck is that about?
when i was a teenager i wouldnt get a 5 pound thing in the middle of my tounge, that's one more thing for your dad to grab ahold of when he's pissed off at you. "come here" AHHh!
how do you wakeup one morning "oh you know what i'm gonna do today? i'm gonna get a peice of steel shot RIGHT THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF MY TOUNGE! yeah! i'm gonna pay a big fat hairy sweaty tattoo guy to do it to me too, then i'll get apeice of steel shot through my cock! yeah! that'll be fun, yeah! then i'm gonna get a metal rod that's got sticks and i'll put it in my ass and then it'll make my underwear stick out even further then i'll get a keychain attached to my balls so i always know where my keys are!"
so i'm standing there with my coffee, trying topay for my coffee, he's lookin at me...
i take my coffee and i leave. i get in the truck, i'm drivin, coffees in the cup holder and i'm thinkin about what a FUCKIN RETARD that kid was.
hoping my kids dont turn out like that, so all of a sudden i smell maple syrup in my truck and i'm thinkin did the kids spll maple syrup in here? and i realize it's coming from my coffee!
somebody spilt maple syrup in my coffee! i go BACK to the 7 goddamn 11, i walk in put the thing on the counter "yo, yo, yo yo YO YO YO, come here, COME HERE coooooommmme heeerrrrrreeee"
"somebody spilt maple syrup in my coffee." and he's talking like he has a mouthful of shit "yeah man thas male ut cunch" Maple nut crunch? ok..
maple nut fucking crunch. you're telling me that guy in columbia is in a field picking fucking maple nuts? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO
as a matter of fact, my left maple nut IS NOT A MAPLE NUT. PULL UP YOUR PANTS.
my mom used to tell me when i was growing up " why dont you wake up and smell the coffee?" you know why? becuase i already have, it smelt like fuckin waffles ok?!
why dont you just throw all teh rest of the breakfast items in my cup! toss an egg in there too come on, how about some cocoa puffs COME ON
or how about count chocula? OH YEAH!.............. goddamit.

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(no subject)

[Dec. 13th, 2004|12:39 am]

[

music

Led Zepplin - Baby I'm Gonna Leave You

]

Baby, baby baby i'm leavin, I really gotta ramble. I can hear it callin' me the way it used to do.

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(no subject)	[Oct. 1st, 2004\|06:31 pm]
This test was brought together out of boredom, made specially for students who do lame tests instead of homework. Yay! Have any fetishes? (x) yes ( ) no Do you like... (x) long hair ( ) short hair ( ) baldness. sinade o'conner style baby. Soda ( ) Mountain Dew (x) Pepsi ( ) Dr. Pepper ( ) Coke ( )..urine. Would you rather bang?... (x) Courtney Love ( ) Brody Armstrong (you fucking nazi. i hate you now if you check this one.) ~~~ ( ) Gwen Stafani (x) Shirley Manson ~~~ ( ) Beavis (x) Butthead Do you prefer.. (x) Brunettes ( ) Blondes ( ) Fire Crotches/red heads for you idiots. ( ) I SAID BALDNESS! Bands. this is very important mother fucker. choose the one you like better or i'll eat your testicles. yes this go for you too girls. (x) Cradle Of Filth ( ) Slipknot... ~~~ ( ) Pj Harvey (x) Sonic Youth ~~~ ( ) Paz (x) D'arcy Politics. (getting low on ideas, so shut the hell up) ( ) Kerry ( ) Bush (x) Hanah, because she's so sexy everybody wants seconds. More music questions ( ) AFI (you seriously need ot be shot if you choose this.) (x) Misfits Random shit. Either or dammit! (x) Cats ( ) Dogs ( ) Hookers that's it for now. bitches.
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(no subject)

[Sep. 7th, 2004|02:13 am]

[	mood	\|	confused as a mofo	]
[	music	\|	Modest Mouse - Baby Blue Sedan	]

People say to just be yourself, like yourself is some kind of exact thing. Like a... toaster.

I had a dream last night that I was in some kind of war set back before we had electricity and internet and mixed emotions. I was helping some guy divert some water to the hills so he didnt have to walk miles and miles to get a leaf full of water for his family. And then we built some kind of river type system and these other people were trying to take credit for what we had acomplished alone. somehow this turned into a war. and then I was in a classroom made of sand, like it was a solid structure but it was of sand, it was my science class at school. I looked around the room to see my friend Joey, Jeff, Natalie and afew other people who I can't place thier face with the situation, and Eric was there, and we were all bloody except Eric wich was really wierd, and as I'm looking around the room, my teacher comes in as if he was our general and asked Eric if everyone was accounted for, Eric sat there and snickerd and then Joey says "hey where's?.." and points to the desk beside me. After realizing whos desk it was, I started to panic, I stood up and asked anybody if they've seen him, if they've heard from him or anything and I was in an extreme panic and then everybodys faces turned to sand and started to basically fall out of thier skulls. I ran out of the room pulling at my hair, screaming as tears are bolting down my face. I slam the door to the class room and it shatters into a pile of sand. and then I see him, and he's limping, hair matted with blood, and I run ove to him and I'm bawling my eyes out, and I ask him if he's alright, if he needs a doctor, and he looks at me, wipes my tears that turn to sand in his fingers and says "Hanah I'm alright" and he touches his thigh "He just collapsed my computer" and I was gripping onto him as hard as i possibly could, as if I were going to fall off a cliff if I let go... and then I woke up... and I was crying.

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Dani	[Aug. 26th, 2004\|05:10 pm]
I was upstairs minding my own buisness, got my new Cradle Of Filth cd in my cd player, and i'm just doodling, and i was done because my brother kept hovering over me and pissing me off, so i decided to go down to my room and sleep, well i decided to take a last glance at Dani in the CD jacket before putting it back in the case, and with a little sigh, i fold the cd jacket back and put it in the case "sigh dani " well my brother raises his eyebrow at me, and says "you know you have less then 50% chance of ever meeting him and even less of that percent of him even liking you" i look at him. and respond with this " You know Tom, he's married. and possibly has children. Thus i can lust at him all i want from my happy little hell hole and he won't even know, because i'm not a home-wrecker. Not to mention he's twice my age. And you, well, you have less then a 0% chance of anyone ever loving you, lusting after you, or even thinking you're worth having on this earth." then i get up. and go to my room. Hahaha i'm such a bitch.
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(no subject)	[Aug. 18th, 2004\|08:01 pm]
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....................well i thought it was funny.
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(no subject)	[Aug. 18th, 2004\|05:35 pm]
This is the test i took for my highschool. half of the questions have nothing to do with schooling, the numbers are all fucked up in some parts, and they repeat a few questions, and at the end it says "THAT YOU!" with a smiley face, and i wrote underneath it "FUCK YOU!" with a smiley face... in pen. i lied in alot of the test, but overall i was really honest, and i don't know why... if you don't agree with some of my answers, then you can suck my cock. here you go. behold the bullshit. it asked my name, date of birth, age, gender, and todays date. and then, the bullshit questions began. .......................................................... Never Sometimes Often Very Often GROUP A 1. I make careless mistakes. \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 2. I have trouble paying attention \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 3. I have trouble following directions \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 4. I start things but I do not finish them\| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 5. I have trouble getting organized \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 6. I try to avoid doing things that \| \| \| \| \| \| \| X \| Require a lot of concentration like Schoolwork and homework 7. I lose things \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 8. I am easily distracted by other things going on \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 9. I am forgetful \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 10. I am fidgety \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 11. I have troubles sitting still \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 12. I feel restless and jittery \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 13. I have trouble doing things quietly \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 14. I am a person who is “on the go” \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 15. People say I talk too much \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 16. I blurt out the answers to questions \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| before I hear the entire question 17. I get frustrated when I have to wait \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| my turn to do things 18. I interrupt others or butt into other \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| people’s business GROUP B 19. I skip school \| \| \| \| \| \| \| X \| 20. I stay out at night when I am \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| not supposed to 21. I lie to get my own way and \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| to get out of doing things 22. I threaten to hurt people \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 23. I start physical fights \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 24. I run away from home overnight \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 25. I take things when people are not \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| looking 26. I destroy other peoples’ property \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 27. I set fires \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 28. I force people to give me their \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| money or things 29. I break into houses, buildings, \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| or cars 30. I use a weapon when I fight (bat, \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| bottle, knife, etc.) 31. I try to hurt animals \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 32. I try to physically hurt people \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 33. I force people into sexual activity \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP C 39. I lose my temper \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 40. I argue with adults \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 41. I don’t do what adults tell me to do \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 42. I try to do things to annoy people \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 43. I blame others for my own mistakes \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 44. Other people annoy me \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 45. I get angry \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 46. When I get angry, I take it out on others \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| GROUP D 47. I worry a lot \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 48. I have troubles getting myself to stop worrying \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 49. I feel nervous \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 50. I feel grouchy or cranky \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 51. I get real tense and can’t relax \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 52. I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| GROUP E 53. I am very afraid of certain things \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| Like animals, heights, storms, going Places alone, or being “trapped” 54. There are times when my heart \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| pounds a lot and I feel dizzy and shaky and have difficulty breathing 55. I have really upsetting thoughts and \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| I cannot get them out of my mind 56. I have habits that I just have to do \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| over and over again like washing my hands, checking to see if locks are locked, or repeating things a set of number of times 57. Really upsetting things have happened to me \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| And they still bother me 58. I have really bad memories or dreams \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 59.I have habits that I cannot control \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| like eye blinking, nose twitching, shoulder shrugging, lip licking, or head jerking 60. I make sounds that I cannot \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| control like coughing, throat clearing, sniffling, or grunting 61. I get aches and pains for no reason \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| like headaches or upset stomach 62. I worry a lot about my health \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 63. I get real nervous in social situations \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 64. I am really shy when I am around \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| other kids my age GROUP G 65. I get very upset when I have to \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| leave home 66. I worry that my parents will be hurt or leave home and not come back \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 68. I try to avoid going to school in order \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| to stay home with my parent 69. I worry about being left at home alone \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 71. I have nightmares about being left alone \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP H 73. I prefer to be alone rather than with my family \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 74. I prefer to be alone rather than with my friends \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| GROUP I 76. I think that people are trying to get me or \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| hurt me 77. I hear voices talking to me or telling me to \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| do things 78. my ideas run together and I cannot think clearly \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 79. I get really angry and lose control of myself \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 80. I laugh or cry at the wrong times \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 81. I don’t feel like doing things or talking to people \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| GROUP K 84. I feel unhappy or sad \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 85. I don’t feel like doing anything \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 86. I think about death or suicide \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 87. I don’t like myself \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 88. I feel tired, like I don’t have any \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| energy to do things 89. I feel bad that I can’t do things as well \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| as other people 90. I feel that things never work out right \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 91. I eat a lot \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 92. I sleep a lot \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 96. My feelings get hurt very easily \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 95. My school grades have really gone down (no) yes hill (CIRCLE YES OR NO) 97. in the past year, a very upsetting thing happened (no) yes (parents divorces, friend or relative died, serious accident etc.) GROUP L 98. I feel very happy \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 100. I am very active and busy \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 101. I need very little sleep \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 102. I talk a lot \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 103. I have trouble concentrating \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 104. I do reckless and silly things \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 105. I jump from one topic to another when I talk \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 106. I believe that I can do things that I really cannot do \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP M 108. I skip meals and eat very little \| \| \|X\| \| \| \| \| 109. I worry about getting fat or overweight \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 110. I think that I am fat or overweight \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP N 111. I go on eating binges where I eat a large \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| Amount Of food in a short period of time 112. I cannot stop eating or control how much \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| I eat 113. I use very strict diets, vomiting, laxatives, \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| or extreme exercise to control my weight 114. I am very concerned about my weight or body \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP O 115. I smoke tobacco cigarettes \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 116. I drink alcohol beverages (beer, wine, liquor) \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 117. I get into trouble because of alcohol use \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 118. I smoke marijuana \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| 119. I use other illegal drugs (cocaine, glue, \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| speed, LSD, etc.) 120. I get into trouble because of illegal drug use \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| GROUP P 121. I get into arguments with adults \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 122. I get real uptight and can’t relax \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 123. Other people make me angry \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 124. I get nervous around other people my age \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 125. I don’t have energy to do things \| \| \| \| \|X\| \| \| 126. I don’t go to school when I don’t feel like it \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 127. I have difficulty concentrating \| \| \| \| \| \| \|X\| 128. I don’t eat very much \|X\| \| \| \| \| \| \| :) THANK YOU!
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When I Am Dead My Dearest	[Aug. 16th, 2004\|09:08 pm]
When I am dead my dearest, sing no sad songs for me. Plant thou no roses on my head, nor shady cypress tree. Be the green grass above me with showers and drew drops of wet. And if thou wilt remember, and if thou wilt forget. I shall not see the shadows, I shall not feel the rain. I shall not hear the nightengail, sing on as if in pain. and dreaming through the twilight, that dawns not sad. Happily I may remember, and happily forget. When I am dead my dearest, sing no sad songs for me. Plant thou no roses on my head, nor shady cypress tree. Be the green grass above me, with showers and drew drops of wet. And if thou wilt remember, and if thou wilt forget.
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eric is a toad.	[Aug. 16th, 2004\|07:24 pm]
Eric has this incredible talent of pissing me off with just about everything he does. First off. we don't agree on anything. Second. we don't know shit about each other, so theres not much to disagree or agree on. bbut the thing is... i can't think of anythin we really truly agree on. ok we both like cradle of filth.... anything else? .... nothing coming to mind... he sent me a message saying "oh my god she's in my math class" if he says it's becca, that's it, i'll straight out fucking tell him. "Eric i don't want to hear about your little adventures with becca, i don't want to hear about your millions of mother fucking girls." and if he pulls that "I'D DROP ANY GIRL FOR YOU!" bullshit, then i'm going to say "bullshit. i'll beleive it the fucking day i see it" and then he'll get all pissed off, and then i'll tell him that he makes me feel more worthless then chris did. and that i think i'm better off without him. Ahhh the female power. i probably wont end up saying anything like that becuase he isnt responding to my messages.... but if he does.. and its the 'b' word. i'm gone. and if it isnt the 'b' word.i'm still going to tell him how sick he makes me feel.
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(no subject)	[Aug. 11th, 2004\|03:27 am]
i got close.
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(no subject)	[Aug. 8th, 2004\|06:39 am]
He sees the dawn sunlight gently glisten off the chipped purple polish of her nails, he watches her silently as she drifts along, the blood begins to pump and he has decided what shall come. She slowly walks along the stretch of what seems to be an endless sidewalk, the small dog trotting along at her side, she sees other creatures stirring under the morning light. He creeps behind the trees and lurks in the shadows, always watching this small being with the skin that seems to be snow, small and seeming frail, he could easily sweep her under a wing of darkness and take whatever mortal born innocence she possessed. As the sun slowly creeps up into the sky she finally sees him, she thinks nothing of it, such a small little being out in an early hour of this must be something odd to see, so of course people will glance. She walks along, in the same pace as before, calm and collected she walks along, and as she looks around and the scents of dew on small flowers flow into her lungs, she turns her head to lay her eyes on the scenery; she sees him again. Her heart starts to pound, she decides just to be safe that she'll take a back road and circle around this other being and walk the opposite side of him, as she turns into the alleyway she watches her small feet kick at the gravel with each step, and as she glances up she sees him pass her again, this time she doesn't find it to be a coincidence. She quickens her pace as he turns around and gets close enough to reach out and touch her. Bead of sweat roll down her eyes and onto her lips, causing them to sting for she had been gnawing on them in a nervous fashion. She quickens her pace once more, and this man, this other THING does the same. The small dog keeps looking behind, ever few steps keeps glancing behind, her thoughts start to race, her mind is swimming in panic and she tries to shake these thoughts of terror so she can think rationally. Get to an open area. An open area that has many other people. Finally the light breaks through the walls of trees in the back road and she breaks into a sprint, the dog trailing behind she lifts him into her arms and runs, all she can hear is the pounding of her feet on the concrete in a rhythmic fashion to the beat of her own heart, both of them gaining speed she runs until she feels she can slow to a mere jog, constantly glancing behind she runs into a hospital lot, cuts through it and towards home, longing to be behind the fence, to be locked away from this thing, this evil that seemed to be watching her, she ran and ran until she could see the sweet sight of home, she threw herself over the gate, locked it tight and ran inside. That girl is me. This morning at 5:30 A.M. I took my dog for a walk and a strange man began to follow me for many blocks... I've never been so scared in my life.
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sleep together	[Aug. 2nd, 2004\|08:11 pm]
is it wierd that i think people are full of complete shit when they say they love me, or when they say i'm beautiful? am i just that insecure,or is my inner intelligence telling me that they're bullshitting me? I don't know...
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(no subject)	[Jul. 20th, 2004\|08:38 am]
~ THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS ~ You are easily bored with what you live with, and want more adventure, something completely different. Sometimes, when you can't find it, you lock yourself up and do very morbid things (writing, singing, listening, etc.) When you do find adventure and take it the wrong way too quickly without listening to the advice of others, you soon find that your good old life wasn't really that terrible after all. What TIM BURTON Movie Are You? brought to you by Quizilla haha that kicks ass
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